God? Religion?? Caste???

What is God? Who is God? Where is God?

These three questions are as old as common sense are to man. There is none in this world that hasn't asked all these questions at least once in their life. I come from an orthodox country where God is everything. Religion controls everyone. Caste rules everywhere. When I was young, I used to follow my Mom to all the religious places, followed all traditions & respected orthodoxy. I didn't have the most colorful youth and I was mostly kept in the dark about difficulties of life, something for which I hate my parents. In a way. Does that make me a bad child?

As I grew up, I learned at each step of my colorful life that life wasn't always fair. Even when I was a kid, my curiosity was huge only curbed by my proud and orthodox parents. But the biggest lesson I've learned in life happened. I changed. And when I did, everything around me changed. A sense of greater understanding soon filled me. My questions became stronger and clearer. When I was sure I couldn't get the answers from anyone, I started learning from everyone. Now, I had a third eye. An eye which would find reason and logic in the worst of the situations and keep me from falling into the deeper abyss. A great sense of peace embraced me. I stopped visiting shrines. If I needed God, I'll find him anywhere. Did that mean I have found God?

I started my rebellion inside my home. At first, my parents would chide me for questioning long respected traditions but as my badgering continued to only scale up, they stopped their preaching. Some beliefs, I was able to break and some I could not. The ones I were able to break, I did so with reason. The ones I couldn't, well, their minds were programmed using them from their childhood, just like thought conditioning used in military training. You cannot alter one's basic fabric of reality. Not without breaking them irreversibly. But this did not make me hate them. At worst, it made me pity for everyone. Does this mean I have found Religion?

Every culture divides it's people based on class, race, work or color. Be it ancient times or the present, people have always been divided. My logical brain understands caste in a different light: RGB. That's it. Red, Green and Blue. Each of the colors represent a type of contribution, a person or any living thing for that matter, give to this world. Let the color Red belong to the protectors of the world. Cops, Soldiers, Guards etc. Let the color Green belong to the creators of the world. Teachers, Scientists, Farmers etc. Let the color Blue belong to the medians. Traders, Merchants and anyone who bridges two worlds. When none of the above applies, one thing prevails: Black. Like a shadow that cannot be lost, these are the people who do not need to be any of the above and yet without them, the world may just stop in its axis. These are the lovers. They spend their lives in service of all the others. And when all the three colors are present, you get White. The ideal man, who is everything. Now if I ask you to choose a color and get rewarded with a penny for every time you see the color, would you choose a particular color or all the shades in between? Instead of explaining that in detail, I'll let you think over it. Does this mean I have found my perfect Caste system?

The more I was exposed to this world and its 'fairness', my questions grew and my heart was desperate for some definite answers. Over time, I understood that there are no definitive answers or solutions to the problems that we face in life. God created everything. I agree. As a creature of logic, I believe that something or someone created everything. I believe that there is a beginning and an end for everything. In our world, we give names to everything.

From where do the names come from? Language

Who created Language? An ancestor who understood the importance of communication.

If the ancestor created the language that gives shape to the God we believe, is he God?

If the God we believe didn't exist factually before cultures or languages or words or actions were created, is our God really the actual God that we believe in?

If the real God created everything and us, in his own image no less, would he prefer us to beg him for anything?

Or would he just stay away and watch what kind of a world his best creation can build?

Any student of history can attest to the fact that religion always evolved and included from other religion to make the transition easier. Does that mean none of the Gods we believe in, are actually real?

All these questions kept swirling around me, pushing me down further and further into the confusion until I reached my peace within. I learned a few things.

There can be no Order without Chaos.

There can be no Definitives without Infinity.

There is a Reason for Everything and Everything for a Reason.
There is no Good and Evil. Only Perspective and Time.

Life is my God. Living is my Religion. Love is my Caste.