PILLARS OF A RELATIONSHIP – PART-VII

     Now that we’ve discussed all the factors in detail, we’ve reached the end of the long series of posts. I guess there is not much I can say here than what I’ve already said. Every relationship out there is unique in its own skin and the same lid may not fit every jar. Like I said, every law has its exception. But remember, not all of us are exceptions even though we tend to think that we are as different from the person next to us as we are to cats and dogs.

     A relationship is a wonderful thing. It can either be a beautiful plant that blooms every day or a misplaced cactus on your seat based on how you nurture it. Every plant needs sunlight, water, air, earth and care on varying quantities; sometimes not all of these, based on where they grow. The same goes for any relationship as well. Honesty, Trust, Respect, Friendship and Love are the primary factors that control every relationship. There are other factors of life we all know that affect any relationship such as career, ambition or several conflict of interests but none affect a relationship like ‘The Five’ we’ve been discussing about.

     The most important thing to remember in any relationship is that a double-edged sword hurts both ways and anything that you do affects both sides in a relationship. As the famous Assassin’s Creed quote says, ‘To say that Everything is Permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic’. You can be selfish sometimes, hell, you should be selfish sometimes. Our human nature demands it. However, if it will affect the other person negatively, it is necessary to go through things together.

     There is a quote I fondly remember. I don’t remember if I wrote it first or if I read it somewhere and it stuck in my head. ‘It doesn’t matter where you go but with whom you go’. We all have some end goal that we have in our mind, some of us reach it and some of us don’t. Whatever it is, ‘we only live as long as the last person who remembers us’. That’s ‘Westworld’ for you. Is the destination worth it if you have no one to share it with? We are called ‘social animals’ for a reason.

     As humans, we make mistakes. A lot of it in our lifetime. That doesn’t necessarily make us bad. What makes us bad is our inability to correct ourselves. I would tell the same thing to you. Since all of us are prone to mistakes, give the other person a chance to correct themselves. If you value the relationship more, give them second, third or even a fourth chance. After all, forgiveness makes us more human and binds the relationship stronger than ever.

     However, that doesn’t mean you need to keep giving chances to someone that does not value the many second chances you give them. Remember the five necessary things in a relationship that we’ve discussed about and if the other person doesn’t value the same even after giving multiple chances, maybe they value themselves more than the relationship. In that case, continuing the relationship may end up being toxic to at least one of the partners.

     I’ve seen several relationships fail due to the inability to commit a 100% into the relationship. Any relationship needs both the wheels to run and it doesn’t matter if only one person commits completely and the other person just uses the relationship to meet their personal gains. Love is more about giving than taking but it has to be mutual. If it is one-sided, the relationship starts deteriorating, sometimes slowly, barely noticeable but dying nonetheless.

     We all make sacrifices for our loved ones and when its mutual, it doesn’t seem that big a deal to put the other person’s interest before ours. In a relationship, it’s not just enough for one person to work for the best of the relationship. You need both parties equally working towards it, failure of which will either destroy the person or the relationship.